Pregnancy loss changes how you see everything.
Before your miscarriage, seeing a positive pregnancy test might have been one of the happiest moments of your life.
You'd start working out your due date. Wondering when you'd tell your family. Imagining what the next nine months might look like.
But after you've experienced pregnancy loss, that same positive test can bring a completely different feeling.
Instead of excitement, there's fear.
Instead of thinking about your due date, you're counting the weeks until your next scan.
Instead of imagining bringing your baby home, you're checking the toilet paper every time you go to the loo, looking for any sign of bleeding.
And perhaps the hardest part is that everyone around you seems to think you should just try again.
As though the next pregnancy will somehow make everything you've been through disappear.
But loss changes how you approach pregnancy. And pretending otherwise doesn't help.
This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week, a time to remember the babies who are loved and missed, and to recognise the parents whose lives have been changed by loss.
And there's something I really want to talk about.
Because when we talk about preparing for another pregnancy, we often focus entirely on the physical side.
Your blood tests. Your supplements. Your cycle. Your age.
All important things to consider.
But what about the woman who's terrified of seeing another positive test?
The woman who's been told her results are normal but still doesn't understand why she's lost three pregnancies?
The woman who wants to try again but can't bear the thought of sitting in another Early Pregnancy Unit waiting for someone to tell her there's no heartbeat?
You cannot simply separate the emotional impact of pregnancy loss from the experience of trying again.
And you shouldn't have to.
As a midwife, I work with women who've experienced recurrent miscarriage, and one of the things that frustrates me most is how little support there can be between losing a pregnancy and preparing for the next one.
You're given information about what happens physically after a miscarriage.
You might be offered investigations.
You might be told to come back after a few more months of trying.
But you're still left with the same questions.
Why did this happen?
Is there something we're missing?
What am I actually supposed to do differently before I try again?
And on top of those questions, you're carrying the grief of the babies you've lost.
That's a lot for anyone to navigate.
You deserve support for both.
You deserve space to acknowledge what you've been through, without feeling that you need to move on.
And if you decide you want to try again, you deserve the opportunity to understand your health, explore appropriate investigations and make informed decisions about your next steps.
That's why I've teamed up with pregnancy loss grief coach Annika Palmer for our FREE two-day masterclass on 27th and 28th October at 7 pm UK time.
Day 1 โ Understanding grief after pregnancy loss
Annika will explore the grief that follows recurrent miscarriage, including how it can affect your thoughts, emotions and decisions about trying again.
Day 2 โ Preparing your body for pregnancy after loss
I'll be looking at the physical side of preparing for pregnancy, including your health history, symptoms and the foundations worth understanding before you try again.
Because your emotional wellbeing matters just as much as the questions you have about your physical health.
And you deserve support that recognises both.
JOIN OUR FREE TWO-DAY MASTERCLASS
Whether you're ready to try again, still deciding, or simply looking for answers, we'd love to welcome you.
And during Baby Loss Awareness Week, I want to leave you with this.
Your baby mattered. Your loss matters. And you deserve to be supported in whatever comes next.
With love,
Claire x
